Dabar [theme]

He shall cover thee with His feathers, and under His wings shalt thou find refuge: His truth is a shield and buckler
Psalms 91:4

Be it ours,when we cannot see the face of God, to trust under the shadow of His wings. C.H. Spugeon

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Who Am I?

Who Am I?
I could give you a list of properties, attributes and abstract qualities which I believe form and embody the substance and characteristics of who I am as a person. Some items on the list will be the usual fare, age, employment, etc,. Some items would be more ambiguous, items left to interpretation by a reader, but none the less, they would by my estimation be items defining who I am. As it stands it would be a list, a register or roll account consisting of an enumeration or compilation of a set of possible items. It would only represent me on paper, the real me, like the real you, is experiential, like a colour, it would prompt an emotion and a feeling of connection or dislike.


But who I am is more than a list of variables and values, my life, your life described, is more akin to a fabric consisting of a framework underlying a structure of woven materials, intertwined, knotted and weaved together by events and circumstance, decisions, success and failure, people and places and a veritable host of other factors. By these factors we are defined and from this we form, bias and prejudice, predisposition and partiality, our sense of contrast and conformity, our temper and how best we choose to use our time.

Who I am will eventually be determined by how I use my time. What I have done with my life with the time I have, will express the essence, purpose and meaning of my life. Within that context there will exist numerous activities apart from the mundane and necessary actions needed to survive. In this society we have an unprecedented amount of leisure and re creative time available. I believe that because of this inordinate amount of time available over and above what we need to provide for our immediate needs, that we seek out challenges and stresses to fill the inherent and primal desires for thrills, excitement and danger. We aren't wired for a sedate, tranquil and sedentary life. We are wired for the hunt and the chase. This leads many in our culture to pursue venues by which they can feel the rush of adrenaline, the thrill. This seeking of fulfillment and challenge lends itself to putting oneself in harm's way, pushing the envelope of what body, spirit and common sense would otherwise dictate.

We all have our dreams. We all want to reach our goals, attain to a potential that satisfies our yearnings for success and personal achievement, reach for an unrealized ability, strive for what is possible in order to feel complete, to have run the race and finished. This is the ...

We like to stretch to be our best, to have a stronger sense of achievement then what life would otherwise provide.

What if, the best that we do, the challenge that brings out who we are at a supreme, ultimate and  pinnacle moment provides the means to our demise.

When the challenge is realized and the goal achieved, the moment of that success can be pivotal in advancing the growth and progress of who I am as a person. That moment of accomplishment then becomes a defining aspect of my person hood. How ironic that people have reached those moments and found that they were slain by the very activity which supplied them the sense of completeness and the corresponding and relevant sense of acceptance and pride in the performance and completion of the task. What a shame that what was desired and achieved in life to empower that life never has the opportunity to be lived out in life. When fulfilling existence and the striving for the utmost becomes the bane of life as a result of a need for my personal destiny to be determined by a piercing and penetrating condition surrounding a situation, then a recourse which results in death is always a distinct possibility. What a tragedy, when what I wish to have as a monument of success, a milestone, becomes a grave marker, and all that was attempted and overcome to provide meaning and purpose to life is never embodied in memory, but lost.

We have so little opportunity to live with success that the loss of that sense is a satyr of vice and folly written with our own hand and played out with our own life.

Success is an overused and misused objective truth of our time. Success has created excess. The satire which the pursuit of success has written on the hearts and souls of men and has played out in the demise of many,  physically, emotionally and spiritually, is the product of a culture whose moral flabbiness and quest for excess has resulted in a squalid and objective definition of said word. The 'desired end' linked to the word success has been manipulated and populated to only include and to exclude all things which are not conducive to a life rich in happiness. The outcome of so many endeavours does not result in happiness. The current definition of success is fraught with the errant conclusion that all activites deemed successful will result in personal happiness. For the most part this would declare a very large percentage of life and lives to be unsuccessful. By media standards a very small percentage of the world's population is leading or very likely to ever achieve a successful existence and hence, ever be happy. This is a very sad statement. 

I refer to the difference between the words 'happy' and 'content'. Happy means to enjoy the good fortune as a result of hard work or chance. Content means to develope a sense of restarint of personal desire to only include those things of which a person is already in possession. Basically it means to be satisfied with what you have. In this view all people are successful, without negating work ethic and ambition to grow and progress. 

The pursuit of success can lead to so much discontent and unhappiness, we can become dazed and frazzled by our lack and to what pupose. God has given so much grace, an immeasurable amount, which contains the means by which as each individual person looks upon their life, they can see within thier life and feel in their soul, the blessing and richness of contentment. It is just one small part of the greater essence of God's willingness and ability to touch the soul of you and I.  

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