Dabar [theme]

He shall cover thee with His feathers, and under His wings shalt thou find refuge: His truth is a shield and buckler
Psalms 91:4

Be it ours,when we cannot see the face of God, to trust under the shadow of His wings. C.H. Spugeon

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Second Generation

My Grandfather homesteaded at the turn of the century. At that time there developed a community of residents, farmers who were sharing mutual hardships and opportunities. A second generation inherited a large potion of those homesteads, settled in the fruit of their fathers labours, raised families, endured subsequent hardships and opportunities. 


This second generation has largely been depleted by death. The few that are left are now well into their 80's.
The farmscape of the community has changed, where there were umpteen families there are now just a handful of residents. It is and has been a devastating and dismal transition for some, to relinquish the past and face the inevitable consequence of life's future. There are some who are meeting this moment in life with a bleak outlook and a dismal frame of mind. This is a consequence of the decisions made during life.
This brief  fragment of the time which is left is defined by the life lived and the character formed by the expanse of time passed. It is a result of the relationships that were important. The choices and what was determined as providing lasting and essential satisfaction. What was maintained and sustained by quality time and effort, are now the things which are left. It was not the frequency or intensity with which these valuables were sought, the level of effort expended, the Judeo-Christian work ethic, or any chosen life-style, that will  hold the heart and soul in peace. These things 'came to pass'.

Life is to be used in the formation of those things which stand the test of time and all of life's intensity and effort should be utilized in the pursuit of that outcome. The choice to love and what to love are a responsibility and consequence of each individual.

There have been 'fruits' of the previous generation passed on which have been more impacting and/or enabling then just the acquisition of some land and farming practices.  The endowment of one generation to the next is far more substantial than is realized and unfortunately in certain instances, until the previous generation has passed away, or is coming to terms with their passing away, these valuables are or were not acknowledged.

We are characterized by our parents, explicitly in terms of copied and enforced behaviour, and implicitly through the nuances of what is communicated through the character of the parent. Yes, there is a difference.

We are taught more through the osmosis of the parent/child relationship than we realize at the time.
For example, people love the best they know how and the best that they want. We cannot understand at the time the love which is given, we cannot in the moment quantify the level of intimacy and affection which defines the care of a parent for a child. It is only after the fact that we can begin to discern what of and how a parent has communicated love to a child.

It must be understood that each parent is a product of the same process, however, as I came to an age of accountability and responsibility I decided to change what I communicated to my children. I am not saying I am better than my parents, nor better than anyone else, (I have always said It will be interesting to see what idiosyncrasies my children have as a result of my being their Dad) however, I have decided to communicate my love for them in a radically different manner than my parents communicated love to me.
It is a choice to love the best I know how and the best that I want.

No comments: