Dabar [theme]

He shall cover thee with His feathers, and under His wings shalt thou find refuge: His truth is a shield and buckler
Psalms 91:4

Be it ours,when we cannot see the face of God, to trust under the shadow of His wings. C.H. Spugeon

Sunday, January 09, 2011

Facebook Deleted

Facebook is a social network service. I always considered 'social' to be a verb, however, by definition, it is either a noun or an adjective.


As an aspect of character, being social, I would expect one to be outgoing, friendly, congenial, a ready companion, one who excels at living in community. The etymology of the word suggests a person who is "living or liking to live with others, disposed to friendly intercourse".

A social context for friendly intercourse and conversation would imply being in the presence of that person, face-to-face, seeing each others eyes, noting mannerisms and body-language, all of which communicate either consciously or subconsciously the actual meanings in the discourse.

The social networking of Facebook, My space, etc., which has taken over the world is, very effectively, nullifying what I see as the most important part of communication, that 'being in the presence of' and observing all the nuances of verbal interaction.  Any interplay between acquaintances should involve eye contact. Understandably this is not always possible or desirable, however, it does play into the fact that if I am 'in person', I am unable to hide. Emotions are revealed where the 'windows to the soul' are visible.

One of the huge issues with Facebook is its inability to secure privacy. What an irony. A social network where all is revealed and nothing hidden from prying eyes not protecting a person from unwanted exposure. Where an intimacy is formed without social responsibility. Where personal information is discharged like so much waste water and any and all who wish to know have opportunity.

An intimacy has been created where, perhaps, 'in person' that familiarity may be restrained.

We all need intimacy, familiarity, those close acquaintances, they form who we are, they alter and change who we are, they support and encourage who we are and without them life would be empty and devoid of love. As humans we have a universal need to belong and to love which is satisfied within an intimate relationship. Intimate relationships consist of the people that we are attracted to, whom we like, those who we provide and receive emotional and personal support from. Intimate relationships provide people with a social network of people that provide strong emotional attachments and fulfill our universal need of belonging and the need to be cared for. I struggle with an aspect of our society where those valuable and personal relationships can attempt to find fulfillment via Facebook or any other distant, impersonal, non-distinguished, cold and impartial Internet communication. Connection is now through cable and wireless devices and do not respect the need for feeling or the atmosphere of closeness and openness towards someone else.

Aristotle said, "One person is a friend to another if he is friendly to the other and the other is friendly to him in return". An interpersonal relationship has formed and our self-conception is defined by those relationships which we endure throughout our lives. That is the other aspect of intimate friendship, there will always exist an enduring, not just a lasting, longstanding, but as well, a standing-by when things are unpleasant, either within the relationship or within our lives.

As I have been writing this, the 'check spelling' has been functioning, I have consistently been spelling
'relationship' as 'realationship', perhaps a Freudian slip, but as I have noticed it I see a poignant or pregnant meaning behind the error.

Realationship is really what this blog is about, finding and holding dear those rela(real)ationships that we have. Keeping them personal, intimate, familiar, providing love qualitatively and quantitatively for one-another.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Love this post! What a perfect summary of our relationship shortcomings enabled by Facebook. W.