Dabar [theme]

He shall cover thee with His feathers, and under His wings shalt thou find refuge: His truth is a shield and buckler
Psalms 91:4

Be it ours,when we cannot see the face of God, to trust under the shadow of His wings. C.H. Spugeon

Thursday, September 02, 2010

The Problem With 'I' (me)

"All our lives , every day and every hour, we are engaged in the process of accommodating our changed and unchanged selves to changed and unchanged surroundings ..." Samuel Butler

It seems that those things remain which we most often flail against in our lives. The things we hate most in ourselves are so entrenched in our 'id' that we cannot relieve ourselves from them. The burden of the unchanged continues to haunt throughout the changed parts of life.

Yet within the 'growing of a soul' (not theologically correct) we have this changed aspect to our lives which continues to adapt, reconcile and consol. We are able to find peace, joy, love, faith and hope, but more often than not, these valuable attributes of life are found extrinsically.

I believe even those who claim to have found inner sanctitude through an internal acquisition have only actually acquired this spiritual sensibility by becoming attuned to the working of God in their life.

The soul acting in conjunction with the mind and the heart can be easily fooled into accepting counterfeit liaisons with philosophies and religiosity that placate the yearning of the soul without displacing the appetite of the person. This for the most part is called 'justifying' my beliefs, after all "Wisdom is justified by all her children".

It is not the soul's fault in this deception, the willingness to accept the deception is the culpability of the heart and the mind, the heart being tied to the pleasure and the mind 'seeing' the wisdom and rationale for the action. 

This applies to the effectiveness of the defense mechanisms with which we are so amply endowed. Regardless of who you are, you have gotten this far in life by carefully building, supporting and supplementing the barriers and walls by which you avoid and  mitigate pain. This also involves the tools you have acquired experentially, which enable you to control and manipulate persons and situations to your advantage.

This I believe is without question. However, the question is in this mess, the 'status quo' - Is what you are experiencing the reality of life or is it a generation of your mind and heart to quiet the yearnings of your soul?

This life you are living, Is it real? Is it what you are what you could be without all the defense mechanisms, control mechanisms and the trappings of your personality disengaging yourself from real relationships with others?

The answer lies with God, more accurately with His Son Jesus Christ living in you. It involves releasing yourself from who you have become and accepting life on God's terms, relying on Him to mitigate the pain while continually allowing yourself the opportunity to feel. With this also comes the ability to love, unconditionally, in spite of what others might do to you in your perceived weakness of caring, of being exposed to pain of rejection, etc., of living without the defenses in place, but more importantly of loving without concern for your personal gain at an other's expense as a result of requited love.

I have the most profoundest of personal experiences in that I have been surrounded by a few very loving men, who have without any inhibition, loved me and continue to love me. They are the truest of Christian men never judging nor condemning, but in their love questioning and holding me accountable. Needless to say, in our history I have had the same opportunity to love them with the same devotion, that of a brother being concerned for their personal and spiritual well-being without unfairly judging their intents or motives.

These are real (capital letters REAL) relationships, they are what exist or more aptly what should exist when unconditional love is expressed without fear.

"Perfect love casts out all fear."

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