Dabar [theme]

He shall cover thee with His feathers, and under His wings shalt thou find refuge: His truth is a shield and buckler
Psalms 91:4

Be it ours,when we cannot see the face of God, to trust under the shadow of His wings. C.H. Spugeon

Saturday, April 03, 2010

I Wonder ...

Is the questioning of faith a denunciation?  Am I guilty of some form of blasphemy by challenging my thoughts with regard to existential fears and placing them in the same context with faith, hope and love? "Thou shall not tempt the Lord, Thy God."

God says,
"I will ransom them from the power of the grave;
I will redeem them from death.
O Death, I will be your plagues!
O Grave, I will be your destruction!
Pity is hidden from My eyes." Hosea 13:14

I wonder ... is my 'existential angst' provided an answer or a deepening question?
Either I have the triumphant victory cry over death or I have been surrendered to death's cluthches and turmoil.

Quoting from the same passage, Paul says, "O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?" The prefix to this passage is borrowed from Isaiah 25:8 where it is said "He will swallow up death for all time, ..." which Paul states as "Death is swallowed up in victory."

I wonder ... at the indescribable immensity of God
I wonder ...as Einstein says, as my sense of God is expanded beyond comprehension as His universe is revealed.
I wonder ... as I reflect on God's love in sending His Son to a cross for my sins.
I wonder ... as I remember holding my babies and tears streamed down my face as I thanked God for such precious gifts.
I wonder ... at a God so kind as to allow me the opportunity to love to such a depth
I wonder ... at a God who in His lovingkindness would bring me such joy
I wonder ... how God could have stilled His feelings for His Son and allowed Him to suffer
I wonder ... how? as a Father, He could have loved another, an unworthy sinner as I, to be placed, esteemed above His own Son
I wonder ... can I believe enough, can I love enough, can any obedience, can any faith, can any hope, be adequate?
I wonder ...

Job 19:23, "Oh that my words were written! Oh that they were inscribed in a book! That  they were engraved on a rock with an iron pen and lead forever! For I know that My Redeemer lives, and He shall stand at last on the earth; and after my skin is destroyed, this I know, that in my flesh I shall see God, whom I shall see for myself, and my eyes shall behold, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!"

What confidence, what a bold affirmation of faith, what trust in God's justice and all  declared in the context of pain, turmoil and questioning.

Life is comprised of thresholds, which we must pass over; doorways which we must pass through.
Some doors are inviting, brightly lit entrances to joy, fellowship, communion, warm friendship, family and sustaining community.
Other doors are dark, by there very appearance they are harbingers of cold, distant, forlorn times.

If we love, we will obey. We do not love One who exists in a dream, Who is forgotten upon waking. We are not loved by God as by One Who exists in a fabricated fancy, Who has not been touched by the infirmities and constricts of this physical, mental, emotioonal reality we call life. As we are born into life so must we pass into death. "Father, if it is your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done." This is humanity expressing itself in true feeling, in the person of Jesus Christ. "In this prayer He was consciously, deliberately and voluntarily subjugating all His human desires to the Father's perfect will." Even that which fills with horror and is abhorrent to desire and nature we will be called to obedient acquiesence. Obedience is strong when it is motivated by love. Whatever we face in this life has been conquered by Jesus Christ, "... be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."

He is risen!! He is risen, indeed!!

In that fact lies the strength of the faith which declares "I know my Redeemer lives."

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