Dabar [theme]

He shall cover thee with His feathers, and under His wings shalt thou find refuge: His truth is a shield and buckler
Psalms 91:4

Be it ours,when we cannot see the face of God, to trust under the shadow of His wings. C.H. Spugeon

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Atypical Father


"What accounts for the father's absence? What of the quality of his presence ---the anger, that hatred? Why is Father such an abusive, brutal family destroyer? What is his rage?



Is it really his wife he hates, his children he wants to beat, because no one does what he says and they cost so much?


The parental fallacy has harnessed Father's spirit to a false image ... and he has become demonic kicking against the traces. He is trapped in a construct called Fatherhood, a moral commandment to be the kind of good guy who likes Disneyland, and kid's food, gadget, opinions and wisecracks.


This bland model betrays ... that image of whatever else he carries in his heart, glimpsed from childhood into the present day ... The man has lost (his soul)...; and the absence, the anger and the paralysis on the couch are all symptoms of the soul in search of a lost call to something other and beyond. Every symptom is a compromise. Symptoms attempt the right aim but accomplish it in a wrong way. The heights seek the depths; ... Father's oscillations between rage and apathy, like his children's allergies and behaviour disorders and his wife's depressions and bitter resentments, form part of a pattern they all share --...


And so his absences - physical, mental, spiritual - call him away from the cage of fatherhood delusions that crush ... Without inspiration, what's left is bare, aimless ferocity. Without desire for an ideal, what's left is lustful fantasy and the seduction of free-floating images that find no anchor in actual objects. Present in body and absent in spirit, he lies back down on the couch, shamed ... for the potentials in his soul that will not be subdued. He feels inwardly subversive, imagining in his passivity extremes of aggression and desire that must be suppressed."




"Sometimes a man stands up during supper
and walks outdoors, and keeps on walking,
because of a church that stands somewhere in the East
and his children say blessings on him as if he were dead.


And another man, who remains inside his own house,
dies there, inside the dishes and in the glasses,
so that his children have to go far out into the world
toward that same church, which he forgot."

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