Dabar [theme]

He shall cover thee with His feathers, and under His wings shalt thou find refuge: His truth is a shield and buckler
Psalms 91:4

Be it ours,when we cannot see the face of God, to trust under the shadow of His wings. C.H. Spugeon

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Seal of Death

"Set Me as a seal upon thy heart, as a seal upon thine arm; for love -- that is, the act and work of love -- is strong as death, ...

"It is moving from 'I and God' to 'God and I'. In this, I feel I have become a traitor to myself, forsaking those loves that have been given to me in this world, renouncing those loves that have become a sustaining and necessary part of my life. These are what have formed me, they have shaped me, they are embedded in my personae and without them I will be less of a person, the 'I, myself'. These are the guarded loves; the vision of who I am, the dreams and aspirations of my heart. As they are placed before the crucifix of my Christ, God says, "I remember concerning you the devotion of your youth, the love of your betrothals, your following after Me in the wilderness, through a land not sown." and "I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain."

As I face the dark waters, the dreaded darkness of my soul, the malignancy of my natural loves, and this life with its burning despair and ice-cold darkness of love betrayed, I am called to " ... arise and seek Him Whom my soul loves ... to seek the Lord and His strength; Seek His face evermore!" However, as these loves, my life, are placed on the altar and slain I can come to know a dread and a fear of God, even a hatred of God. A last desperate attempt exists to thwart what God requires, to challenge God for my soul. I wish to cease to believe and I desire for another option, I choose ... but what choice do I have ... "Lord, to whom shall (I) go? You have the words of eternal life."

But, I will always believe, or will I? It is death that brings me to this place, to decide, to question the validity of God as One Who loves. Why should death have to be a path to life?

In an absurd conundrum, death saves love from perishing from one of the other ways in which love could perish. It would be better for love to perish through death, than through hate. Love does in truth have to perish, " ... perish in its earthly form, at least, or perish utterly in hate or indifference. Perish unless it can be redeemed." C.S. Lewis said, 'There can be miraculous reprieve as well as miraculous pardon." "There's something in natural affections which will lead it on to eternal love more easily than natural appetite ... there's also something in it which makes it easier to stop at a natural level and mistake it for the heavenly. Brass is mistaken for gold more easily than clay is. And if it finally refuses conversion its corruption will be worse than the corruption of the lower passions."

"Every natural love will rise again and live forever: but none will rise again until it has been buried." Our loves in order to be redeemed must die to the old self, otherwise, there would be no contentment in turning to the love of God and to what God restores of love. This is an acceptable sacrifice, mystical, mysterious, imperative. "Death wounds to cure." Hosea 13:9,"O (Christian), you are destroyed, but your help is from Me."

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