Dabar [theme]

He shall cover thee with His feathers, and under His wings shalt thou find refuge: His truth is a shield and buckler
Psalms 91:4

Be it ours,when we cannot see the face of God, to trust under the shadow of His wings. C.H. Spugeon

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Questions; No Answers

It has always been of interest to me these last few years (20 or so), probably since I started attending church as an adult, what it is that people see when they look at me. I am not talking about a vanity issue, more along the lines of people's perception of my character, strengths, weaknesses and such. This is again of note for me as I travel through this current life-change, and people both friends and acquaintances alike ask and interject as to what course my life is or should take now. The suggestions have varied from where life was in offering new direction, to being pointedly suggestive of a continuation of what my recent past was comprised. There have been suggestions of an extremely incredible nature requiring not only a change positionally in terms of career but radically in terms of life, (well duh!), and radically in terms of my relationship with God. Suggestions of this nature are not foreign to my thoughts, however, they are maybe not given adequate weight in light of life's circumstances. This opportunity involving the up-rooting of family, the uncertainty of a calling seen by others but not appropriated by myself or possibly more accurately not perceived by me, is not seen as a viable, attainable option.

The real issues are the questions that arise from 'the life examined' (outside influences are incredible sometimes, huh!), Who am I? and Who does God want me to be?

The Fatherhood of God is an awesome aspect of or the side-effect of Christ's redemption of us(me). "...when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth His Son,...to redeem...that we might receive the adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, "Abba, Father!" Therefore you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ. Galatians 4:4-7
In John 14:8, "Philip said to Him, "Lord, show us the Father, and it is sufficient for us." The Fatherhood of God has been a relational quagmire for me in the maturation of my Christian journey. I have this desire to express in heart, soul, strength and mind what Paul expounds in Galatians. In direct contradiction to that desire lies the protection of what I hold most dear, without doubt I (we) protect what we love the most ardently, and in that revelation I realize that I am holding back from God the fullness of my devotion, yielding, love and obedience. I relate well to Philip (I think there may be some Hebrew in all of us) in that I would prefer less ambiguity and although I don't believe I could actually deal with direct revelation, it would be nice on occasion to have spoken in a straightforward and immediate manner a word from God, Himself. (I'm praying now He will be kind if this happens) Therein lies the quick, I fear more than I love. Fatherhood though demeaned in current culture, is a part of our growing and maturing that when done right is the most powerful influence, however when done wrong or slighted as trivial and valueless becomes the curse upon our memory and the bane of our future.
It's nice to think of Christ's redemption in terms of our eternity in heaven, a very valuable and desirable outcome of said redemption, but there is a requirement of existence which means living out the Kingdom of God while we sojourn here. I always seem to come back to the issue of my time spent in the now. I do not have a problem with living today for my Lord and Saviour, it is in the accurate portayal of a Christian and exemplary life that I struggle with the hows? and wherefores? of daily duties and obligations. Just how does my daily life reflect upon God as Father? An accurate understanding of the Fatherhood of God or an image of God as Father, mindblowing, insightful, '...penetrating to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and a discerner (discerning) of the thougts and intents of the heart", uplifting, full of assurance, although desired, may reqire of me something which I am not willing to release. (you know now I'm not Calvinist)

God has proven Himself faithful in all His dealings with me, and I have no complaint against Him. So why the hesitation? I Don't Know!!

The first things have to be first....

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